Waving a Red Flag

There are, essentially, 3 types of “red-flags” embedded within the Red-Flag Crisis.

The Red Flag Carry In

When a student, youth, parent, friend, lover &c. bring a problem from one setting (e.g. home, school, bus) to another setting (e.g. work, dorm, car) even though the problem has no connection to the new setting, the problem creates a new problem in this setting. As problem piles on problem, as the response of other piles on the response of others we reach a red-flag crescendo where those who were not involved, now are. This is something we often see in individuals afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder; an inability to, so to speak, leave work at work and home at home. A red-flag carry in is one of the ways the dog gets kicked.

The Red Flag Carry Over

Similar to the carry in, the carry over brings a problem from a place to a new place in the same setting. This is where the dog would really get kicked. Imagine a problem that you are having with your spouse and you then, after leaving the room, come across one of your children in the process and you, consequently, end up yelling at the child. Same setting, new place. Troubled youth do this all of the time when they are mad at a staff member at their RTF and, as a matter of cause and effect, break a window in their bedroom or break a bone in another student.

The Red Flag Tap In

Have a repressed problem regarding your 10th grade teacher that is unresolved? Why not dig it up and smash the window of your current teacher’s car? A tap-in is utilizing an unresolved conflict as fuel to add to a new, unrelated, conflagration that you have already put a match to.

Regardless of which red flag you encounter, the main point is to provide for the youth and understanding that someone (e.g. their parent, their teacher) understands their real problems. But first, how do we get the youth to understand that they are displacing their feelings onto someone else?

With a “Red-Flag” we have the students perception:

“Everyone is against me! No one understands what’s going on with me and no one cares! I can’t take it anymore!”
LSCI Institute

And then we have the process by which the teacher is supposed to approach the situation:

Recognize that the student’s behavior is different today

De-escalate self-defeating behaviors and determine the source of the intense feelings and behaviors.

And most importantly, make sure the adult is in control of his or her personal counter-aggressive feelings toward the student while working through the multiple layers of resistance.

LSCI Institute

And the process is fairly simple as defined by the LSCI Institute. First we have the 3 Diagnostic Stages:

First, allow the student to drain-off their feelings while the adult remains in control of their own counter-aggressive feelings.

Second, establish a reverse timeline of the events that led to the outburst.

Third, establish the central issue that is causing the youth to have the out burst.

And then we have 3 Reclaiming Stages:

First, establish insight into the students specific self-defeating behaviors.

Second, apply new skills that will help the student develop new social skills that will allow him or her to overcome self-defeating behaviors.

Third, application of the new skills. What they call the transfer of training so the student may generalize and strengthen their new tools/social skills in the classroom or home setting.

This is a fairly succinct way of explaining what a “Red-Flag” is. But how to we get at the central issue?

I’ve always appreciated the method given by Therapeutic Crisis Intervention (TCI) in obtaining the central issue.

First off, TCI is,

“a crisis management protocol developed by Cornell University for residential child care facilities.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapeutic_Crisis_Intervention

The method that I’ve always used was what they call an IESCAPE. An acronym, obviously, that stands for…

Isolating the youth. And not as in, put the kid in the closet and lock it. This isolation is just to remove the youth from the situation that is overstimulating or difficult for them. Isolate them by going to another room and sitting at a table with them and talk to them, like an adult.

Explore their perspective on everything that happened, really listen to them– actively.

Summarize their perspective back to them so that they fully know and trust that you’ve been listening.

Connect their feelings to their behaviors. Most children, hell most adults I know, don’t have the power to do this on their own.

Alternative… That is, have them come up with an alternative response they could have made that wouldn’t have caused such a severe outcome.

Practice it. Really role play it out with them. Become the other student, the friend, the girlfriend, the teacher, the peer they are upset with and play out their alternative actions.

Engage them back into routine with their new skills.

Now, this is an incredibly effective means to establish new tools for a troubled child in a “Red-Flag” situation. It is essential to follow these steps, with personal adjustments of course, to get the youth to understand their displacement of feelings onto other people. And to teach them new tools to no displacing this anger.

(Ah-ha! Feeling displacement. Now, where have I heard of such an approach to feeling dis-displacement before? Coming up next…

How I learned to love Byron Katie…)

LSCI or How adults may grow into children…

Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI)…

What is it?

LSCI.org states that it is an

“advanced, interactive therapeutic strategy for turning crisis situations into learning opportunities for children and youth with chronic patterns of self-defeating behaviors. LSCI views problems or stressful incidents as opportunities for learning, growth, insight, and change. This non-physical intervention program uses a multi-theoretical approach to behavior management and problem solving. LSCI provides staff a roadmap through conflict to desired outcomes using crisis as an opportunity to teach and create positive relationships with youth.”

In conjunction, think of the Kanji symbol for crisis; within the symbol for crisis are two other symbols.

The symbols wēi and jī. Danger and opportunity. Together they mean crisis.

From my work in the mental health field and utilizing LSCI as a tool to, “teach and create positive relationships with youth,” I have encountered a myriad example of each one of the 7 probably crises that a child may experience at any given time.

#1 The Red Flag

To paraphrase, The Red Flag crisis is exemplified by seemingly out of place outbursts and self-created, and thus fulfilled, no win situations. A troubled child will have an outburst with an effect of breaking the nose of a classmate that has nothing to do with his troubled emotional state. Instead, what his troubled state is, for example, is something that happened on the bus, at home, in the dorm and elsewhere. The student has, in other words, carried over a red flag from elsewhere.

#2 Massaging Numb Values

This crisis leaves the youth feeling guilty, remorseful, shameful or inadequate over what they’ve done because, sadly, due to a history of abuse and belittlement, this is all they have ever been taught to strive for. Shame and guilt have always been the consequence of their actions. And this is usually the result of the parent making illogical or irrational choices for their child.

I’m reminded here of a quote from, the fictional, Dr. Gregory House, “Acting on your [emotions] is easy. Acting [logically] is hard. That is why all parents screw up all children.”

#3 Reality Rub

The Reality Rub tends to be when a youth expresses, only, a fairly subjective view and unwavering belief that their reality is not only true but also unchangeable.

And while this may be true for all, the reality that a child has may reflect a difficult, estranged, sometimes maniacal worldview that will only hinder their self growth and improvement.

#4 New Tools

Without using any names, I will take a quote regarding a student of mine in order to explain this one.

“He does try to interact with his peers in a fashion that he believes will get him what he wants. Only, sometimes his responses to his peers are ostracizing and offensive; he snaps at them, yells, he has jerks in his shoulders and arms when he is even remotely upset, when interacting with his deaf peers he attempts to communicate but drops his hands and resorts only to speech when he is angry. He does have interests that, while some kids share, are eccentrically executed. For example, his drawings are a reflection of a disjointed world that no one else can see or experience or engage in yet he tries to get others to understand them and when they are incapable of doing so- he becomes upset.”

A New Tools crisis is simply that the student does not have the proper abilities to utilize in order to act in a manner that is socially acceptable or accepted by his/her family, friends or peers.

#5 Symptom Estrangement

Simply put Symptom Estrangement is believing that it always someone else’s fault and, “I am often, if not always, the victim.” See also: the way the student next to me dresses forces me to act angry. See also: the rules you expect me to follow are stupid, and I should be able to remake them. See also: I have no remorse for insulting people. See also: I have no remorse for physically hurting you, you deserved it.

If only LSCI would have a date with Byron Katie… This whole crisis would be settled.

That was meant, partially, to be humorous.

#6 Manipulation of Body Boundaries

This crisis has always been an interesting one to me. In short, a child will lie, sneak, manipulate and cheat in order to get one of his peers to do something viz. blow-up, start a fight with someone, scream during class, break a rule in school. Because this way, a Manipulating Body Boundaries child gets to experience all of the fun and none of the trouble.

#7 The Power Struggle… The most dangerous of the crises…

The power struggle is when adults turn into children. When the adult is faced with one of the preceding 6 crises and can only cause the child to spiral further into the cycle of crisis that has been spun among them. See also: I’m the mom, that’s why! See also: screaming at the child to sit down while you’re standing. See also: telling a child that he is lying, stupid, strange, unwanted, careless etc. See also: arguing (for the sake of being right) with a child instead of listening to them.

I will devote individual, more in depth, posts in the future regarding my thoughts and work with each of the crises as defined by LSCI. Among, I’m certain, many tangents, I will specifically focus on two areas; first, how it relates to children and how they may be resolved and second, the telling signs of adults who experienced these crises growing up and the consequences behind this.

“I used to think that when a writer became a man of letters he was done for… But I feel alright…” – Dylan Thomas, “A Few Words of a Kind.”

After my teenage years warped and wrapped in the dramas entwined within the flat affect blank pages of my livejournal.com ravings, I swore that I’d never blog again. Interestingly, and now ironically, that is if you define it as Ben Lerner, a past professor of mine, did…

“Irony is when form and content undo or contradict each other.”

…I find myself needing to blog again. I am form, I am content. I am contradicting myself- always.

Why exactly? Because I have a few things, several long winded mea culpas, therapy ideas, creativity ideas, logic ideas etc. that need to be put out there, “for me or for you for anyone or of course for no one to make what you or he will of them.”

Dylan Thomas again. Same piece.

Because I’m supposed to be a statistic. Because according to every psych text ever read- everything points to me being in a gutter, in jail, on drugs, careless and apathetic…

Here’s why that didn’t happen…