“You really don’t think suicide is a selfish act?”
I left work at 4:45pm that day. I stood at the bus stop outside of school waiting for the 14 down Ohio River Blvd.
It was 21 degrees out, and may as well have been inside as well when I spoke, pacing, from telephone pole to sewer grate waiting for the $2.25 ride home…
(Is anyone aware of an HTML code to indicate internal voice? Or is it simply the parenthetical aside indicative of a fourth wall break wherein this case the wall is egoic?)
(Suicide is a selfish act.) I, parenthetically, voiced inward…
“I doth protest too much, methinks.“
Methinks this makes me a hypocrite.
“Suicide is a selfish act.” Is an incomplete thought. It is an, at best, equivocal thought that provides us with a few paradoxes of choice, independence, codependence, definitions and projections or reality etc.
Huston… We have a mistake…
Suicide is a difficult subject to approach for all; first hand– I know this.
“Wherever you do not want to go is where you will find him, he is hiding behind your pain. Embrace your pain and you will win this game.” – Guy Ritchie, “Revolver.”
Suicide, as we’ve defined above, is the voluntary, independent, taking of ones own life. Or, if you prefer, etymologically it’s reduced to, “self killing.”
When I think, again, of the phrase; “suicide is a selfish act.” I am left, less, with the desire to define and understand suicide as a concept and more, rather, at understanding selfishness.
Now let’s complete the thought…
“Suicide is a selfish act because the person committing suicide isn’t thinking about the feelings of those left behind.”
But like an irresistible force paradox we are left with a conundrum.
A person who wishes to commit suicide is selfish because… Because it will hurt me and the loved ones they’ve surrounded themselves with. This sentence is inherently hypocritical and paradoxical and states a few conclusions…
- 1.) If a person is to be codependent no more, then suicide, a free will, independent action, is an option.
- 2.) Suicide is selfish because it makes my life more complicated is, quite possibly more selfish than suicide.
Katie is often quoted as saying some variation of, “I love you and, thus, why would I ever want for you what you do not want for yourself?”
The Codependent Paradox is simply this… A person wishes to kill themselves but must think of how this will effect the living. What if suicide is the best option for the person? It is, however, their reality. Furthermore how can we love someone and respect their being without respecting their every choice?
I’m left with more thoughts than answers at the moment and will come back to the subject after I’ve spent more time with it.